1. |
The Reason
03:51
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I am the reason for every knock on your door,
every shadow across your floor,
all your parents thank you for
I am the reason for every check you’ve cashed,
every minute long since passed
your father’s heart attack
we’ve got nowhere to grow but up
drinking coffee from a styrofoam cup,
she’s just out here waiting to see you
there’s a door in the back of your mind
they say the lord knocks on sometimes
he’s just out there waiting to meet you,
saying I’ve got time to spend
but every burn out brings you back again
I am, I am, I am the reason
I am the reason for every tear she’s cried,
every plan she’s set aside
just to give her baby boy a good life
I am the reason for every song you love,
every friend that calls you up,
all the times you’ve felt like you’re enough
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2. |
Walk Alone
04:19
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I lost hope, but I still got friends
I don’t treat as well as I want
but nothing waits for my grieving
except the famous grace of god
I quit smoking like I quit on you
I just don’t miss you as much
I’m still trying to decide, ‘cause they're both new,
which decision was better for my health
sometimes, I close my eyes
and see your face,
wake up in the middle of the night
yelling, go away
so I prayed I’d stop dreaming,
but I’m not sure I’ve slept since
and I hoped that you’d start fading,
but I’m not sure you ever left
I don’t know what it is that I want
I just don’t want what I’ve known
I used to walk beside you,
but now I walk alone
lost my wallet in Arkansas,
90 bucks and a picture of us
lately I’ve been trying not to care at all
and, let me tell you, most days it works
but sometimes, I close my eyes
and see your face,
wake up in the middle of the night
yelling, Go away
so I prayed I’d stop dreaming,
but I’m not sure I’ve slept since
and I hope that you'll start fading,
but I’m not sure you ever left
I don’t know what it is that I want
I just don’t want what I’ve known
I used to walk beside you,
but now I walk alone
sometimes, I close my eyes
and see your face,
wake up in the middle of the night
yelling, Go away
so I prayed I’d stop dreaming,
but I’m not sure I’ve slept since
and I hope that you’ll start fading,
but I’m not sure you ever left
I don’t know what it is that I want
I just don’t want what I’ve known
I used to walk beside you,
but now I walk alone
oh now I walk alone
oh now I walk alone
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3. |
October
04:01
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I go on walks ‘cause there’s nothing better to do
reading closed captions with the TV on mute
I call my friends but they’re asleep; I should be too
sometimes, I miss the old days, when we’d talk until we got confused
watch the night fall
watch me fall apart
oh my god
I can’t do this anymore
October found me picking scabs and feeling dangerous
I woke up with a heavy head in the Eastwood basement
feeling less like a man of god the more my mother says it,
last night I spoke so freely of some things I’m scared that I meant
watch the night fall
watch me fall apart
oh my god,
I can’t do this anymore
punished by the sunshine, I knew that I knew much better
I was losing sight of tomorrow in a heart throb of hard liquor
my father’s on the table saying, son, I wish we were closer
I never know what to say to him, but goddamn that hit too hard
watch the night fall
watch me fall apart
oh my god,
I can’t do this anymore
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4. |
Up To You
03:33
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I love that every song ends
I love that every song ends
after school is over,
it's goodbye for the summer
I love knowing that you care
I love knowing that you care
careful cutting all those corners,
getting burned out in the foyer
I hope you make it—
cashing every paycheck,
sitting nervous in the pew
you'll make your mind up slowly,
or learn to call this your calling
good to know nothing’s up to you
I love what we’ve got here
I love what we’ve got here:
eating breakfast in your kitchen,
like it’s all I was ever missing
I love hearing your prayers
I love hearing your prayers,
like counsel for the beaten,
took the punches from the preacher
I hope you make it—
cashing every paycheck,
sitting nervous in the pew
you'll make your mind up slowly,
or learn to call this your calling
all that man ever wanted was to play ball for O.U.
good to know nothing’s up to you
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5. |
Starfish
05:17
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I sprawled on the ground
and spread my arms out
like a starfish
but my limbs won’t grow back
I guess you know that
I guess you’ve been here
I blanket the couch
to find you sleeping
in the morning
last month you were dead,
but now everything is
normal again,
normal again,
normal again
everything is normal again
I wish you were good
I wish I forgave you,
like it was easy
I’m glad you survived,
'cause if I didn’t hate you, I don’t
know what I’d be doing
I lost all control
when she fell to pieces
not knowing if you’d come back
but now you’re at home,
watching television,
like everything is normal again
normal again,
normal again
everything is normal again
you said It was dark
when you closed your eyes
and didn’t know
if they’d open again
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Joelton Mayfield Nashville, Tennessee
Raised in small-town central Texas and based in Nashville, Tennessee, Joelton Mayfield crafts hard-hitting alt-country that’s at home in dive bars and DIY venues alike. His deft lyricism draws a Southern Gothic literary sensibility and deals intimately with the tensions embedded in family, religion, masculinity, and love in the American South. ... more
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